I didn't know i was pregnant
by AneuUrysm
Summary: how could a vampire not know she's pregnant: Pam's been told she has a rare case of the hepititus v virus but she's showing few physical symptoms, the titles pretty self explanitory SPOILER ALERT: paric baby :) review please
1. Chapter 1

**Forget all the bullshit you've seen on tv or in the movies or heard from your friends. Sudden and intense I might add severe pains. Your waters break and splash across the floor. You're rushed into hospital, huffing puffing, then lie on your back in a bed pushing, sweating. Then, joy! Your baby is born and you look down at your baby and say "you are my world i love you so much". That might happen for the lucky people. But lets be honest it probably won't, actually scratch that none of that will happen. Its complete shit.**

 **I hadn't even known I was pregnant until I gave birth in the bar. Completely scared. And using gas and air for pain relief with fucking ginger as my midwife. FUCKING GINGER!**

 **It was the most difficult and fucked up thing I had ever experienced in my life. I have no idea how I even ended up pregnant. Vampires couldn't even get pregnant it just didn't make sense I couldn't understand it.**

 **I was in active labour for about 12 hours, pushed for 40 minutes and I'd rate the experience as the most PAINFUL THING I HAD EVER EXPERIENCED! But let me start from the beginning...**

 _Hep v stage five, that's what I was or what I'd been told I was. I had contracted the virus from Eric who had contracted the virus from my vampire aunt Nora and now I'd had given it to Alcide so he was now a proud carrier of the hepatitis v virus. And nothing not even Sarah newlines blood couldn't even save me. She had died of malnutrition and none of us wanted to turn her. Funnily enough I hadn't inherited any of the usual symptoms. Which were: weakness, blindness, feeling hot which i did have at one point, the tell tale signs dark veins and much more. In actual fact the only ugly dark veins I had were nothing more than the blue ones stretched across my swollen abdomen. Just an unfortunate symptom of hep v in females. Or so I thought._

present day:

I stood behind the strip watching Eric with sookie. He brushed a strand of her perfect golden hair away from her face. What was it about her that made her so…desirable. Why did everyone love her so much? flail over her? worship the ground she walked on? what did she have that I didn't. I mean bill had love her before he had kicked the bucket; hell he had even fucking died just so she could have a fucking vampire free life. Even alcide had even loved her well, lusted after her. Until the day he'd finally seen sense and shacked up with me Much to Eric's distaste. But then again Eric and alcide had never been the best of friends...mostly allies. Not even a month after vampire Bill's death Sookie had run back to my Eric and Eric being the mug he is has fallen for it all over again. They deserved each other I couldn't stand the pair of them.

In fact, I don't think I have ever hated Eric as much as I hate him right now. how could he be so blind. So naive.

...

But It still wasn't fair Eric hadn't looked at me in that way since we had first met and he…he had left me after he told me he loved me told me I would not be replaced look how that had worked out and to say one other thing we had actually briefly gotten back together last year when he had that hep v virus because I was afraid to lose him and I had wanted to stay by his side until I found a cure but that hadn't worked out because a few months after when he had been cured I had told him I didn't love him anymore and that was after we had sex I recalled lying on the bed beside him before muttering " that was the last time' he sits up looking at me confused and looking slightly taken aback by my sudden revelation and asks me what I mean ' that's the last time we have sex' I say loudly getting up and off of the bed ( I know now it was my hormones), I rolled my eyes at the memory drying the edge of the last glass before strutting my stuff towards the office only to be stopped by Eric's hard edged voice oh and i forgot to mention we were in an argument. Again.

'Pamela-He stopped me with his deep masculine voice that used to make me melt well it still kind of did though I would never admit it- I froze my jaw locking in frustration, what did he want? To rub my face in it some more? yeah sookie had won! She had gotten him like she wanted, like they both wanted congrats you fuckinglations nobody being me gives a fuck what do you want an award. I wanted to fucking punch him…and her I wanted him to just fuck off with sookie and never come back that would make things one thousand times easier.

'yeah?' I asked coldly playing it cool as my voices tone mirrored his,

'don't forget to restock the b negatives he said still watching sookie; I smirked falsely then bitterly dipped my head to show understanding.

Opening the door to the office I swayed inside only to be stopped by Eric again,

'And Pam'

I growled in frustration anon turning around and plastering one fake ass grin onto my face,

'Yes Eric?' I buzzed brightly

'I'm going to sookie's so I won't be back until tomorrow night' he said sadistically a slight smile playing on either side off his lips because he knew his retort burnt me it burnt me bad the smirk melted off my face and I slammed the door to the office in a fit of rage shooting my middle finger at the piece of wood multiple times then rounding the desk mindlessly shuffling paper before slumping backwards into Eric's chair.

staring down at myself and swallowing thickly as I stripped back my shirt to reveal my pale bloated veiny abdominal region, I would probably die soon and that would put me out of my misery anywhere was better than here and/

I stopped my mental discussion staring closely at my solar plexus; when I spotted a shape which poked out of it lifting the thick skin up and stretching it even more. Sitting upright I frowned down wards at it for a long moment before my mind wondering to deeper darker scenario's what did this mean? Was I dying…RIGHT NOW and if so what would happen to me?.

I had a vision of chest burning alien parasites that made me want to puke up the taste of rotting slime and for the fraction of a second that felt so real. it was terrifying. I would die here alone in this office and 'oh god' I rushed out in a jumble of words I was actually going to die me Pamela swynford de beaufort was going to die I shivered for a few seconds taking in unneeded breathes and then after a while yes a while because it took a while I admit, I straightened myself then got up; walked hastily towards the safe;. Dialed those four digits for it to retrieve a true blood (I needed one last drink of blood if i was going to die) the safe pinged open with a hiss then I moved the stacks of money out the way. and as I was moving those stacks of money I came across a little square box, it had sookie's name on it; rescuing the object from its dark hell of a home I opened it getting the shock of my life when I did.

An engagement ring, a fucking 24 carat diamond engagement ring for sookie are you fucking kidding me he wants to marry her was this some kind of sick joke? I stood there frozen my mouth hanging slightly agape. Wow he really loves her, he wants her to be his wife not me her _if he marry's her he'll turn her and then she'll be another fucking warlow_ (he wants her) _my mind played it over and over again like a stut record_ , I bit my lip feeling it quiver and then realized I was going to cry, cry like a fucking baby, and right on que dark bloody tears broke free from my eyes to travel down my cheeks. I tried the ring on which kind of took the piss but to be honest _it fucking suites me better than It would suit her…you cunt_ I thought as I wiped my eyes scrubbing any trace of crying away. I would not cry over this madness he had made his bed he could die in it. I ripped the ring free from my ring finger then

shut the shitty little box throwing it back into the safe vamp speed, aggressively blowing out of the office and moving towards the door to open it up in a tornado blur I could feel Eric and sookie's eyes on me, but at this minuet I didn't care I got behind the bar getting ready to open up the club then looked over my shoulder at the time; it read 9.30 pm and the bar opened at ten pm. Great half an hour to spare. I crouched down picking up a cardboard box which would be too heavy for a human to lift and placed in onto the black slab, and just as I was bending down to pick up the other box of O negative's when I was caught off guard by a strong cramp in my lower back that left me reeling, I gasped dropping the box I hadn't realized I'd been holding (that was my first sign of labor) and my discomfort caught Eric's attention sharp. He stared at me and I pouted stubbornly trying again with the box, it lifted easily onto the bar and after I had finished that chore I walked towards ground stopping at the door when I got another crick, this one however was different and I hesitate to say it took my breathe away because I'm a vampire and I don't need to breathe but to tell the truth it actually did.

'Pam?' I heard Eric's voice again but this time I didn't bother on turning around. I stood their hand at the door trying to compose myself and closed my eyes silently thinking _you're not going to die pam stay in control, controls the key stay in control_ ,

'what's the/

'I'm good' I rushed feeling my fangs descend as I gritted the bottom and top of my human teeth together.

'But pam/ the faerie began I cut her off sharp with flare. How dare she act like she cared about me my health or even my wellbeing she may have had Eric fooled but she didn't have me fooled I would rip her to shreds in less than seconds and/

TWINGE. OUCH!

'I SAID IM GOOD!' I snapped and with that I flew down the stairs to ground. My eyes fixing onto Eric's bedroom door and once I was close to it I almost practically kicked the door down, spotting his neatly made black satin sheeted double bed and clasping into it my body surrendering to sleep instantly.

* * *

one could say that I managed to get some sleep before the cramps, a mixture of loud blasting music along with the smell of blood and the sound of fucking coming from the other side of the door woke me up a few hours later.

But I had mostly awoken because I had realized I was soaking wet with this clear substane that resemembled water this made me sit up in the bed confused,

'what the...?' I quizzed to myself trailing off as i peeled back the black sheets, had I peed myself? Was that even remotely possible for a vampire to do seriously what the hell, I groaned softly when a wave of pain took me by surprise and curled my toes in discomfort, gripping the slippery smooth sheets tightly and changing my position so i was now sitting myself up, that was when a very sudden and horrific pain streamed through my stomach knocking me sideways and a feel of sickness ran up my mouth, my stomach was assaulting the rest of my body, and I gasped holding the sheets tighter, as another wave of pain shot through my small frame adding to it making it worse and disabling me as more fever scorched through me.

I yelled out holding below the belt with my free hand why was I No one was here to help me in my time of need,

Eric was defently gone now…I couldn't smell Sookie anymore which only symbolized his departure and I besides I didn't need him that badly anyway. He was the one that would be sorry when he returned home to find my remains slouched all over his bed (I needed him now more than ever), it was happening I was dying I could feel it and I couldn't describe it but it was this feeling this feeling of knowing that you're not going to make it, I took in a sharp breath and hugged my abdomen, but it was then I felt well heard a small pop sound and before i knew it a pool of more water poured out of my lady parts and splashed onto the bed,

I stared at that opaque liquid a scream of panic leaving my mouth at the mess, as i unraveled my arms from there place around my front.

shrilling as another wave of pain strongly gripped me in its gripped I got out my cell phone 'augh ERICCCC! GET THE FUCK HOME' I wailed

'ERIC' just for the pure comfort hoping that he would come for me out of pure instinct despite the fact we shared no bond anymore.

The disgusting sex sounds stopped at a sudden halt and I could hear a muffled females voice through the wood I let out an agonizing groan and turned onto my side trying to find some relief when the door to Eric's bedroom shot open and there stood the barmaid ginger (and my personal assistant...not that she had the brains for it) wearing only her bra. I'd told her about having sex with our vampire customers and now she was just taking the piss If I'd been in the right state of mind I would have fired her on the fucking spot.

'Pam' she said breathlessly stepping into her shitting granny pants (how embaressing) and pulling them up, she looked me over I was flushed with sweat now.

'ginger' I choked shivering she was beside me within seconds her chocolate brown eyes mounting into my big blue ones 'it it hurts it fucking hurts'

'What hurts?' she squeaked nervously

'death?... EVERYTHING' I yelled slapping her on her arm and hard she looked at me confused her hand subconsciously traveling up to the now red spot on her forearm where i had hit her. I knew that the blow would leave a sickening bruise but right now I wasn't sorry.

'well what's wrong' she blew out wiping the sweat from her forehead.

'I don't know' I said breathing hastily as the pain subsided.

'get someone...-I stressed- please ginger just get a doctor or something get Eric call him I don't care just get someone' I shivered out

'Doctor Ludwig's retired you know that' she altercated at a loss for words then came the sharp unforgiving pain in my chest I held the Centre of my chest sucking in desperate breaths that I really didn't need, and let out a soft moan of agony ginger was over in a shot taking hold of my hand and looking worried.

'Pam-Pam what's wrong' she asked dumbly again.

'I just told you I don't know' I gasped my hand shooting back to my to hold my back as my whole body convulsing front ward as the pain hit back hard with a vengeance. This time I let out a SCREAM this was getting to much the discomfort was unbearable

'what can I do?' Ginger asked soothingly

'Make this pain go away!' I yelled 'jesus Please just make it go away' I whined

'Ok…Ok I'm going to go get Eric from sookie's and-/

'DON'T LEAVE ME!' I squalled holding her arm in a crushing grip ginger looked at me with wide eyes in a mixture of shock and fear, I released my grip.

'im sorry, im sorry- I breathed- this just really hurts- go ill be fine I promise' I nodded

'are you sure Pam I can-/

'GO' I yelled cutting her shut as a knife and then rolling uncomfortably I'm sure resembling humpty dumpty or a tele tubby, ginger spared me one final glance before running out the door, the Pain was calming down a bit now but around seven minutes later. _it came back much worse._

Another wave of pain struck and I rolled onto my front once again trying to find another source of relief,

It was then I felt another more wetness between my legs and not a good kind I looked between my thighs and could see blood soaking my white channel night gown, OH MY GOD I WAS WEARING FUCKING CHANNEL...CHANNEL!

'oh my god' I breathed 'Oh my god…I DON'T WANNA DIE YET' I yelled to no one remembering what i had prayed for earlier and wanting to take it back now and desperately i had asked for death and now god or whoever it was. was dishing it out to me. and not peacefully.

a few seconds later I heard stressed footsteps against the stairs and the blonde known as ginger reappeared.

'MY CAR JUST BROKE DOWN' ginger squealed in cowardess. I shook my head getting on my hands and knees 'doggy style' as the pain subsided briefly, and tried to hide my fustration. I just didn't know what to do with myself.

'it doesn't matter' I choked It doesn't matter…I pressed my lips in a thin line trying not to cry out again.

'just keep ringing him'

Ginger nodded running towards me; taking a seat next to me on the bed and placing her hand on my back rubbing in circular motions,

'go down a bit' I said sucking in breathes and letting them out ginger looked at me confused but obeyed her hand travelling down to my lower back where the first pain had been located I inhaled a shaky breath and then let it out groaning slightly when another wave of agony hit. I could hear ginger dialing digits and knew she was calling Eric and let out a blessed sigh of relief, I caught sight of my reflection in the mirror and could see ginger with the phone to her ear while she lifted the back of my dress up. What the fuck did she think she was doing…

'his not picking up' Ginger burst looking at me in a panic I growled digging my fingernails into the bed

'you need to find a way to get through to him call sookie or…('i trailed squeezing my eyes shut)just try again...'

'we might want to see to thas one firs' She said looking at me again. It was my turn to look confused.

'see to what one...what? what do you mean?' I queried then moaned out in pain when I was hit with another harsh blow,/

'Pam can you describe the pain?' ginger asked interrupting me, I looked at her reflection wide eyed and in disbelief. was she seriously asking me this now?.

'WHAT ARE YOU SERIOUSLY ASKING ME THAT?'

'Pam I need to know right now' she proceeded her eyes still fixed on. my vagina?. my butt?. whatever. I sucked in a breathe then begging to pant before I let down my pride and managed somehow to answer her question.

'IT COME'S IN WAVES- I shivered-AND GOD IT HURTS SO MUCH IT HURTS SO MUCHHHHHOOOUUUCHHH…IM DYING'I shouted that last part.

'Pam you're not dying ' ginger deadpanned out 'you're having a baby'

 **what do you think should i continue it please review and let me know if you like it and what you think thanks happy reading and sorry guys in this fic i decided to keep alcide alive cos I was gutted when he died in the series hope u dont mind.**


	2. Chapter 2

' _Pam you're not dying,' Ginger deadpanned out. 'You're having a baby_ '

The words rung through my ears like alarm bells

'WHAT?' I yelled making sure I had heard her correctly, watching her as she shifted position behind me the mobile device still to her ear.

'You're having a baby' Ginger repeated, (I could hear the disbelief in her tone) 'and by the looks of it. It's coming now'

I hesitated for a few long moments staring at Ginger in the mirror with wide eyes. This was absurd. VAMPIRES COULDN'T REPRODUCE. THEY JUST THEY COULDN'T. I HAD NEVER HEARD OF. CAME ACROSS OR WITNESSED A VAMPIRE PREGNANCY. IT JUST DIDN'T MAKE SENSE. I HAD SO MANY QUESTIONS. WHEN. HOW? (well I knew how) BUT WHY? WHY ME? WHY MEEEE? I HATE CHILDREN. THEY ARE WALKING TEACUPS! I REALLY HATE THEM! WITH THEIR FUCKING CRYING AND RUNNY NOSES. ALWAYS HAD AND ALWAYS FUCKING WOULD WHAT KIND OF FUCKING JOKE WAS GINGER PLAYING ON ME BECAUSE WHATEVER IT WAS. WAS NOT FUNNY. I WAS NOT FUCKING LAUGHING. And. OWWWW!

I wanted to be sick. This was not true. This couldn't have been true. I wasn't pregnant. I would have known, wouldn't I?

'Ginger this isn't fucking funny,' I yelled at her. 'STOP FUCKING AROUND'.

'Look Pam, I know you're in shock' - she said, losing her normally, bubbly, idiotic personality, and turning into a Ginger I had never seen before or met. It was like she was a different person. 'But. You. Are. In. Labour. And whether you like it or not, this baby is coming now'

I gawked at her straight face, feeling my eyes becoming wet 'Ginger' I squeaked pathetically 'It's not. I'm. Not. It can't be… your wrongggggg' - I trailed off straining a laboured breath'

'Pam listen,' - Ginger said sternly, looking me in the eye. 'You are having a baby right now. Now, I've not seen many births in my time, but I delivered my sisters' baby in the back of 'er car and I am telling you, yaw giving birth…' - she said, examining me a second time. 'Now, your four centimetres dilated, and in active Labour. But, don't worry, you've been through the hard part.' Her words smeared out, as I pieced together the puzzle my mind had been trying to solve for months.  
The dawn sickness.  
The weight gain.  
My pink Prada pumps I could not fit into – was due to swollen ankles… and not a prank of Eric's.  
The b-negative cravings.  
The butterflies.  
It all made fucking sense. I had been pregnant and I didn't know. I hadn't known and now I am about to give birth. I was in labour right now.  
The liquid from earlier, was my waters breaking.  
The pain was contractions.  
This baby was coming out now, and it was real. I wasn't dreaming. This was actually happening. Silent tears ran down my face.

'Pam,' I heard the last bit of Ginger's sentence, 'are you listening?' I stared at her once again before nodding mutely. I couldn't do this. I couldn't do this! I can't do this- my mind screamed.

'Ginger,' I shivered, 'I'M SCARED…I DON'T CARE IF WE'RE ARGUING… I WANT ERIC. PLEASE… PLEASE TRY AND GET HIM'- I begged. Ginger nodded, whilst re-dialling his number, and putting the phone back to her ear, desperately continuing to rub my back while I breathed and panted trying to find some ounce of control.

A squeal of relief left Ginger's lips, when she got someone on the other end and I closed my eyes… still panting.  
Then I opened them…  
Looking down…  
And around at the bedsheets…  
Then down at my dress.  
The fucking blood would never get out of this.  
I let out a loud sob, half in mourning because of my Chanel, and half because another contraction shook through my lower frame; I ripped the sheet I had been gripping in my left hand in complete agony. God this was so fucking…human.

'It's okay,' Ginger soothed. 'You're okay…the babies coming out pretty normally and-'

'GINGER…' I groaned interrupting her. 'Shut the fuck up I don't give a fuck about the little monster. THIS BLOOD IS NEVER GONNA COME OUTTA MY DRESS. DON'T YOU GET THAT?' I wailed. Yes, I was crying now.  
'IT'S GONNA FUCK RUIN ME. IT'S TAKEN MY BODY. MY FUCKING CHANEL DRESS, AND NOW, IT'S TAKING MY VAGINA! AND I FUCKING HATE IT. I HATE IT. YOU CAN THROW IT TO THE GATORS FOR ALL I CARE. I DON'T FUCK-' I stopped abruptly, feeling nausea claw at me. The taste of bile saturated my taste buds, giving me no choice but to slap a sweaty palm over my mouth as I gagged.

I'm gonna be sick.

I gestured to Ginger in a panic, to pass the vase over from the table by the door. She ran over instantly, running back with the vase; the phone still plastered to her ear. I hadn't even heard what she had been saying to whoever was on the other end of the phone. At that moment though, I didn't care. I snatched the black vase from her, coughing once before throwing up the contents of my stomach in there. When I was done, Ginger took the vase from me, placing it temporally onto the floor before reassuring me I was okay, while continuing to talk on the phone.

'…just get here quickly' I heard her say before hanging up the phone.

'Is he coming?' I moaned- 'is he on his way?' Ginger shook her head no.

'No, but I managed to get through to Alcide. I know you two were close (yeah we were in a relationship for two months) and he's on his way'. I was too far gone in pain to care, and let out a long groan, clinging desperately onto the edge of sanity,

'I've got something left in mah car from when my sister had her baby that can help ease some of the pain,' Ginger said. My head shot up at that, and I caught the reflections of her eyes in the mirror once again.

'Should I go get it?' She queried. I looked at her straight face before her words really sunk in, and nodded my head quickly.

'NO SHIT!' I bleated

She nodded, getting up and then pacing it out of the door and up the stairs. In her absence, the contractions only worsened almost. Almost throwing me over edge. I wanted to rip the little f*** out of me. I didn't care what it cost me. I didn't care if it killed me. I didn't care. I WANTED THE F*** THING OUT THIS INSTANT.

I just needed to be in control, and control was slipping away from me…Fast! It wasn't long before I heard Ginger running back down the stairs. She approached the door, holding something weird-looking in her hands. I stared at the object wide-eyed, before looking at her in silent question.

'This is called gas and air it should help with the-'

'JUST PASS ME THE FUCKING THING GOD DAMN IT!' I yelled. (I didn't care if I was a vampire and didn't need to breathe this seemed like the best option for relief and I was taking it.) Ginger hurried towards me passing over the "Gas and Air". I snatched it greedily off her, fiddling around with it before asking-

'How does it work?'

Ginger knelt down in front of me, placing her hands gently over mine and the object.

'You see this little thing on end right here?' I nodded madly, 'you just gotta breathe… well the best you can, considering your dead, into it okay?' I acknowledged her before placing my mouth over the place she'd shown me, and sucked deep breaths in and out.

The dirty blonde took a seat behind me once again examining me a third time,

'RIGHT PAM' Ginger yelled over my moaning and groaning 'YOUR NOW ALMOST FIVE CENTIMETRES DIALATED. I WANT YOU TO PUSH'

WHAT?!

No no no no no this was not real. This was a nightmare. I was dreaming… that's it Pam… keep telling yourself it's not true… believe the lie and then…  
'AAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH'

I screamed in a mixture of frustration. Frustration at the fact this was real, and it was happening. I tried blowing desperately in and out of the gas and air.

'I did this. I did this. It's all my fault. It's my fault,' I rambled to Ginger, shaking my head. Ginger looked at me, listening to what I was saying, while continuing to rub my back.

'What's your fault?' she asked, calmly focusing her attention back on my lady parts.

'Eric's with Sookie because of me. He's gonna propose to her because of me and He stopped loving me because of me. He's my best friend I'm useless without him- I let out another yell as another contraction conceded over me making me shake,

'I know Pam…I know but his not important right now. This is and you need to push!' She shouted at me. I was silent for a long moment before nodding and involuntarily boring down into the pit of my womb pushing…I couldn't help it.

I don't know how long I pushed for crying out in agony as I did before ginger suddenly yelled at me to stop. (who the hell did she think she was commanding around)

'I need to examine you again can you lie on your back?' She asked. I didn't answer for a few moments because I didn't know if I could move but when I was sure I could move again I nodded slowly shifting position onto my back leaving the gas and air at the end of the bed and contracting all the way- she had lied about being past the hard part this was getting worse and fucking worse- once I was on my back and prompt up on a pillow more warm liquid gushed around me.

Ginger ran to the end of the bed hoping up onto it so she was position between my legs.

'okay pam your approaching six centimeters and fast. - I made to push again but she stopped me- Don't push' she ordered handing me the gas and air I took it greedily placing it back in my mouth.

'you're not ready yet' she ended

I growled inwardly thinking _well you had me pushing twenty minutes ago_ what had changed? but I remained silent obeying her every word which was odd for me because I hated being commanded around when not by Eric. My mind wondered to the memory of Eric's late vampire sister Nora bossing me around. We had nearly gotten into a fight.

So I waited. And here began hell. The contractions were so frequent and I was tired. So tired. They were so hard to cope with. I was literally falling asleep then waking up with the next wave of pain. It was fucking hell.

'PAM WAKE UP' I heard gingers voice and growled

'Where the fuck is he?' I groaned uncomfortably towards her

* * *

Eric pov around half an hour ago…

I pounded into Sookie just reaching a climax when the doorbell went Sookie smiled a cute gappy smile up from her position underneath me when she saw the frustration on my face.

'should we get it or ignore it' she asked still smiling, I buried my head in the croak of her neck smelling her inviting honey blood about to continue (whatever rational thoughts I had about Pam and the doorbell flying out the window)… that was until the bell continued pinging annoyingly. Roaring in irritation I withdrew from her; getting out of the bed before pulling my pants up. I knew full well who it was. It was Alcide. The…Pam's werewolf, but there was something with him I could smell it in his blood…the worry mixed with a need to be somewhere.

Sookie got up gripping the sheets to her naked flesh and peering out of the window,

'Oh' she mussed looking back at me over her shoulder.

'I'll handle it' Sookie said swirling on her heels and then moving towards the door, I heard my phone ping under the bed and grabbed it vamp speed reading the text messages that came up. Ginger.

' **Eric your needed back at Fangtasia'**

I frowned at the phone and on hearing Alcide's voice at the door,

'Is Eric there?' why had he come for me and not sookie? Something didn't stick right. Before I knew what I was doing or what I planned to say I Had gotten dressed vamp speed; left the room. And flown down the stairs vampire speed to stand behind Sookie, who had the door half way open and was facing the tall muscular. dark heard male known as Alcide. Sookie's ex….and Pam's I growled involuntarily at the thought of Pam being so intimate with someone who wasn't me…Especially who was male she'd sworn off females when she had lost Tara. Alcide was recent competition. But quiet easy to keep up with. He would never be able to fit Pam's needs like I could. He would never be able to keep up with me in the bedroom department and/

'Northman' Alcide acknowledged nodding at Sookie once before his gaze fell on me shaking me from my thoughts.

'Herveaux' I said mirroring his tone of voice 'Can I help you?' I looked to Sookie once who was smiling up at him he looked at her before scowling lightly and looking away. (He couldn't stand her now pam had managed to turn him against her as she'd done with Tara she had that effect on people)

'Yeah Er…I got a call from ginger Earlier and a text asking me to come to Fangtasia she said she couldn't get through to you and that I should come there now I/

'did she say why?' I cut across him Looking at sookie briefly before listening to him continue.

'She said something about Pam but my phone cut off' that caught my attention sharp and I pushed past sookie going out the door and into the cold night. Alcide watched me before following behind.

'Where are you going?' Sookie called from her place in the doorway.

'To Fangtasia' me and Alcide deadpanned in unison Sookie looked at the pair of us before she added

'I'll come with ya'll' before either of us had the chance to object Sookie Had raced down the hallway she was back in two minutes flat, dressed and putting on a trainer while stumbling out of the door.

'Right ya'll well let's go and see what's up' she said confidently walking head held high to the passenger side of the door opening it and getting inside me and the werewolf exchanged looks before Alcide said.

'I'll take the back'

I nodded smirking slightly then got in the driver's seat looking in the rear mirror to make sure everyone was in the car before slamming my door vamp speed and gunning up the engine.

* * *

Pam pov present time

'Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck' I burst out demanding gingers hand while I blew into the gas and air. This was getting ridiculous as well as unbearable we had been doing this for almost two hours now quickly approaching three. And still no progress. Just more pain.

Ginger quickly let go of my hand still positioned between my legs and stretched over me carefully to wipe the blood that was running from my Ears and mouth. (the bleeds?) what fucking time was it I looked over at the alarm clock on the table stand (it read 2.30) I groaned in agony my cool eye's summiting to ginger's emerald ones.

'...I can't fucking do this anymore' I huffed pressing my lips together when the pain from a minuet ago seeped me once again.

'I know it's hard sweetheart-ginger buttered me up- but just keep trying to breathe like I told you-

I moaned in discomfort nodding unenthusiastically before breathing into the lifesaving invention ginger had introduced me to around forty minutes ago. The bar maid looked exhausted uncomfortable like she didn't know what else to do and...

WHY THE FUCK WAS THIS MOVING SO SLOWWWWWLLYYY! I wanted to tell her that she could go and rest that i'd be fine (i inew that wasnt true i was far from fine) but that would just be selfish because er. Hello I was fucking dying here I needed her.

'How are you feeling?' ginger asked looking up at me from between my legs. I rose an eyebrow before grimacing in pain.

'Like I'm shitting a watermelon...- I breathed trailing off trying my hardest not to push and gasping as another contraction caught me off guard...

After a few moments I lost my cool.

'...When can I push again?' I whined wriggling in distress. Ginger looked up at me smiling nervously.

'you're seven and a half centimeters dilated you can start pushing again when we reach eight okay? But only push when I tell you to yeah?'

'Uh-huh' I gritted my teeth together then felt my fangs snap down involuntarily on hearing ginger's phone go off 'I cant _take that fucking noise'_

ginger fished the phone from her pocket with her free hand putting it to her ear a third time.

'Yeah?' She answered. Listened. Then shot me a toothy grin.

'...Okay see you in a few' she said then hanging up.

'His outside the club' I felt more tears well up in my eyes slightly. In relief. PURE RELIEF.

'do you promise?' I asked blowing into the gas and air.

'I promise' ginger said I nodded then continued to heave and pant as she told me. doing this for a few seconds before the pain overwhelmed me and I started to panic but ginger said.

'stay in control. Stay in control' and I grabbed back the rhythm I had of breathing in the gas and air, clinging to the edge of control. (which was hard considering there was still loud music and the sound of the rave booming up above. Someone would have to close up soon)

It wasn't long before I heard multiple footsteps against the concrete stairs and let out a massive cry of relief when I caught sight of Alcide.

'Alcide' Was all I could manage

'Pam?' he burst out stopping dead when he saw the scene in front of him.

'what's happened?' He asked pointly towards ginger I was shaking feeling the worst pains now, thinking about it it felt like exactly what it was, my body contracting to push the little monster out. there was a brief second of silence before he repeated his question and ginger finally cracked.

'Oh for god sake She's having a baby' Ginger yelled multitasking Alcide's eye's fixed on mine instantly.

'What?!' He queried catching my eye I nodded at him quickly taking more out of the gas and air before replying.

'I didn't know. I DIDN'T KNOW I DIDN'T EVEN THINK VAMPIRES COULD...AHHHH' I gasped and panicked It wasn't long before Eric and sookie appeared in the door way stopping behind him I shook my head. NO! No I changed my mind I did not want Eric to see me like this just no no. It felt like my insides were being tightly squeezed then violently shaken and It made me nauseous...fearful.

'what's going on?' Sookie asked towards ginger. Ginger didn't answer instead moving up again and dabbing my now sweating forehead. How the fuck was I sweating?

'Alcide?' Sookie looked to him when ginger wouldn't answer her question Alcide said nothing. Still staring at me I'm guessing in shock. I let out a loud sob sucking in desperate breathes and Eric stepped closer into the room upon seeing my distress.

'Alcide stay where you are' Ginger commanded Alcide remained where he was still staring at me as he had been doing that for ages now 'ALCIDE' she yelled at him snapping him out of his trance.

'DO YOU UNDERSTAND WHAT IM ASKING YOU TO DO?!' she yelled turning her head to face him he nodded

. 'SOOKIE I NEED YOU TO CLOSE THE CLUB AND GET SOME TOWELS AND HOT WATER...AND SCISSORS- Sookie ran off instantly to do as she was asked- AND ERIC I NEED YOU HERE RIGHT NOW YES?' Eric hesitated his eyes glued to mine before answering.

'ye-yeh?' Eric nodded before coming over to me and taking a seat on the bed next to me we exchanged looks before I looked way sinking into myself from the pain gasping and feeling bloody tears leaving my eyes. I had been told not to push but I couldn't help it, my body was fucking pushing.

'GET HER UP' Ginger ordered to Alcide he acted quickly coming towards me (moving past eric); putting his arms under my arms gently. Telling me to get up and that I was okay. I whimpered and cried out loudly. Placing my hands onto his broad shoulders for balance as he helped me onto my knees. I think he had already figured out what was going on before he had even asked. Alcide had witnessed many births in his thirty years from previous members of his pack. He wasn't stupid and he didn't need ginger to drop the bombshell she had dropped on him a few moments ago. Plus, he was a werewolf he had probably smelt the pregnancy the moment he had stepped into the room.

'You're okay' he said I looked into his brown eyes and they still despite his calm deminour held so so many questions. Confusion and probably every negative emotion in the world. And tried again to stop myself from pushing and realized that I couldn't. It hurt so fucking much, I think I was mooing now. I caught sight of Eric's reflection. He was sat next to ginger behind me getting worried I could sense it I knew when he was panicking I could read him like a book. I knew when Eric Northman was worried. Right now was one those moments yet he still remained completely silent.

And at this point I secretly hated ginger.

'OKAY OKAY PAM YOUR EIGHT CENTIMETRES DIALATED THE BABIES CROWNING I WANT YOU TO PUSH!'

 _Thank fucking goodness_ I thought looking over Alcide's shoulder to see sookie running back into the room with the white fluffy towels.

 _t_ his _was so fucked up._

 _I was a vampire._

 _Vampires didn't have babies._

 _They fed and fucked and_ -

'OWWWWWUUCCHHH!'

I bore down, breathing heavily through my nose. My hole frame tensing up as I cried out in agony digging my nails hard and deep into Alcide's skin. (I was glad he had gotten the message that I was giving birth quicker than Eric because he had acted surprisingly quickly despite the shock of the situation which was what I needed right now)

'IM FUCKING TEARING!" I choked breathing heavily sookie placed the towels onto the bed next to Alcide then ran back out of the door and up the stairs to clear the bar.

'You're not tearing Pam your doing so so well keep going' Ginger reassured me. 'Pam I can see the head' I could practically hear the grin on her face.

I was exhausted my body was exhausted I wanted to quit.

for everything to just stop.

but I knew that wasn't an option.

'IT'S FUCKED UP MY CHANNEL!' I bawled over my pushing, Alcide laughed slightly (and Eric was still silent which scared me I needed to know what he was thinking…I needed to know.

Did he hate me.

Would he leave for good after this?.

Jesus Eric fucking say something.

Do something.)

but whatever the werewolf had been about to say was lost when I groaned over him. stomach churning.

I can't do it ginger- I sobbed loudly- I want it out, please help me!' I whimpered.

'Come on Pam' the werewolf encouraged me ' You know what you have to do. Look at me you know what you have to do don't you? - I nodded heistantly moaning and groaning urging my body to do what it had to. _( I didn't know what to do this was just so abnormal in so many fucking ways)_

Pushing the little demon further down the birth canal. everything hurt,

My lungs,

Head,

throat.

EVERYTHING!.

'I thought you'd gone' I groaned sobbing again to alcide probably making little sense but referring to the time he had left for his pack. After the argument we had had. ( I had argued with everyone this past year...literally)

'No. Pam never' Alcide reassured me looking over my shoulder at Eric and ginger I could see the looks Eric was shooting Alcide in the mirror and trust me they weren't good but despite all my discomfort…I secretly liked it.

''uh I'm sorry Alcide - I'm so sorry' I cried boring down again

'No I'm sorry. I'm sorry for leaving pam you were right' he said his vision still fixed with Eric's from what I could see in the mirror.

'you're always right' he added as I continued to push letting out loud groans.

'Look at me. Look at me. You're beautiful. Your brave' I screamed over his praise,

(This wasn't the time)

'DON'T FUCKING PEP TALK ME SHUT UP!' I wailed

( i just wanted Eric! I wanted him to be the one supporting me through this not alcide. I wanted his full attention for once damn it!) hearing another phone going off it was Alcide's. Alcide looked at me and then Eric again.

'Ginger can you'/

'little busy right now' she cut him up 'come on keep pushing pam…Pant with me' and I did as she told me panting with her my eyes catching Eric's in the mirror, I looked at him longingly before focusing back on Alcide.

'Go-go-'I managed continuing with the rhythm pant. Pant. Push. Pant. Pant. Breathe. Pant. Pant. Push. Pant. Pant. Breathe. I FELT LIKE A FUCKING DOG.

'are you kidding? I'm never leaving you again' Alcide stated, another moan of pain. Eric got up off of the bed walking around It to where Alcide was.

'I'll take care of her' He promised the werewolf still staring him in the eyes neither one of them blinking. Alcide held his gaze before looking down at me and then back at Eric, swaying his head in a nod. I reached over for Eric. Grunting and groaning as he took me in his strong comforting hold.

'Eric…' I broke down loudly taking hold of his leather jacket and inhaling more gas and air 'this blood is never gonna come out…and I'm scared, it hurts-

'shhh -Eric soothed wipeing my tears with the pad of his calloused thumb-come on Pam. You know I love you more when your cold and heartless' he said repeating the words he had uttered to me over two/three years ago when he had been about to sacrifice himself to the sun. that did it more tears streamed down my cheeks. as we gazed at each other. There was so much I had to say to him...

'HEADS OUT!' ginger yelled I sighed in blessid relief

'OH THANK GOD'

I cried slumping my head against Eric's rock hard chest in exhaustion. I felt him place a soothing kiss on my sweaty forehead and My hands still tightly crushed his shoulders. "'thank god' I sighed

'don't stop pushing keep going!' ginger called and I did crying out in Pain.

I pushed and pushed and pushed until I was blue in the face. Pushed again and again and again until I heard Ginger call-

'ONE MORE PUSH PAM. BIG ONE!'

And I did the biggest push i could manage. I PUSHED with everything I had in me boreing down into the pit of my womb; screaming while doing so- '

'OHHHHH IT HURTS FUCK GOD IT HURTS SOO BAD!'

And still ridiculously crying rivers.

'OH MY GOD - OH MY GODDDDD, GINGER JUST PLEASE HELP, JUST CUT IT OUT, PLEASSSSEEEE!'

I screeched moving my hands to grip the collar of Eric's shirt and screamed until i could taste blood. The burning was worsening to the extent where I could actually feel the monsters body slipping out of me which to be honest fucking scared me more than anything.

'COME ON PAM PUSHHHH!'

 _I AM FUCKING PUSHING_ I thought angrily,

'God no i can't anymore' I groaned in defeat burying my face into the croke of Eric's neck.

'You can Pam push' ginger sang giving me a little nudge.

'Jag jävla driver du självisk tik fitta kommer att fan dränera dig torr när det är över!' I shouted at her in Eric's mother tongue my frustration getting the better of me. I heard Eric's snort of amusement and shut my eyes tightly willing myself through the pain

'Pam suck it up and push this baby out' Ginger said sternly, ( and I did exactly what I was told sucking it up and doing what I had to do)

There was a five second count. Before I bore down one final time feeling like I was having the toughest shit in the world and then felt it slip from me completely. Relief flooded over me.

The pain was gone.

It was fucking over.

THANK FUCK.

The demons wail met my ears and I shut my eyes breathing heavily

'IT'S A BOY!' Ginger choked I could hear the tears in her voice and bit my lip trying to hold back my own this didn't go unnoticed by Eric and I quickly covered it up (no I would not be associated with that. That thing I would not get attached it would not be a weakness)

Sookie suddenly reappeared with hot water and scissors and the werewolf had finished on the phone, Alcide shoved past her running into the room a second time.

'it's a boy' I repeated dryly my small frame shaking my lips juddering from the after shock of the pain just injured as Alcide passed ginger one of the white towels; she took it wrapping up the still bloody and crying infant before cutting its umbilical cord and passing it over to Alcide.

'There you go daddy' she said to the werewolf handing him the squealing child (I saw Eric swallow hard at this. He was angry at me I didn't need a bond to know that. He wouldn't even look me in the eye).

Of course I knew there was no way Alcide could possibly be the father. It had to be Eric. I had been pregnant for nine months yes? And had been with Alcide in that way while I was pregnant. I knew this because I had thought I was hep v and had given it to him.

But I wouldn't say anything to Eric. he fucking deserved to be hurt like he had fucking hurt me. I wanted him to now exactly how I had felt and still felt every time he fucking up and left me weeks at a time.

that time he had joined that authority,

Left with Nora to try and stop the vampire god lillit well billith.

went after sookie, or Nora or Sylvie.

Abandoned me!.

Forget the irrational labored emotions I had felt earlier.

IT WAS MY TURN TO HURT HIM!

AMEN?!

'do you want to hold him?' Alcide asked breaking my thoughts still staring at the whimpering and hiccuping little brat.

'NO' I hissed defensively 'just take it away.' I added trying to catch Eric's eye but the words died in my mouth when I felt a pain similar to the one from two minutes ago I winced on feeling liquid drip down my clumbsy legs my knees shaking and buckling under the pressure. That pressure fron earlier. Ginger frowned then looked back towards my lady parts. Her eyes widening.

'oh my god- she squawked- OH MY GOD! THERE'S ANOTHER ONE!' she yelled 'PAM IT'S TWINS'

 _NO FUCKING WAY NO! I groaned inwardly_

'NO!" I yelled why was god doing this to me. Hadnt he punished me enough. Sookie had finally resurfaced and was now behind Eric. gawking at me. Alcide and then the squalling demon…speechless.

'Okay let's get her onto her back for number two. You must be tired ay Pam?' Ginger tried at some humour,

 _Damn fucking right I was tired_ I remained silent feeling that Pain from earlier returning and progressing but worse much worse. Alcide moved off (still carefully holding the child...dark hair, my...it had dark hair Jesus Pam pull yourself together) of the bed and ginger helped me pulling me down so that I was flat on my back. Alcide said something (I don't know what) Before going over to Eric and handing him the baby. Then returned to my side taking my sweating palm in his

.'I-alcide I can't... I'm so tired' I squeaked then let out a long Pain filled groan. My eyes now fixed on Eric who was staring down at the baby his expression unreadable which confused me greatly and made me wonder what he was thinking/

'I'm here pam- look at me your gonna be fine okay? You've done this already; you can do it again' Alcide promised

'Okay. I nodded feeling the contraction claiming me. okay'

...

A few minutes later I was pushing again boreing down, while ginger told me how well I was doing and all that shit from Earlier Sookie and Eric had gone up stairs to the now empty bar to settle the first born demon and the second one was half way out.

I pushed one final time then heard ginger squeal as the second born slipped into her waiting arms. I was shaking all over at the feeling of relief then looking up at a beaming Alcide. Holy shit why was he smiling this wasn't funny.

'IT'S A GIRL' ginger called out smiling but something was different I waited in anticipation expecting to hear the screech as I had heard from baby...demon number one i waitrd and waited but there was no cry. Not a thing.

It was silent a deadly silent.

I looked at Alcide then to ginger.

'Why isn't she crying?' Alcide asked I stared at ginger feeling the last emotion I'd ever expect to feel. Fear. What the fuck. No. No. No. I didn't care what happened to this thing it would be a blessing if it were. No. I couldn't wish that on it. On them. They were...they were -

'Is it alive' I breathed weakly towards ginger shutting the dreadful thought clear from my mind ginger ignored me briefly her working hands cutting the umbilical cord. 'is it dead? is it dead?!' I shouted looking to Alcide. He was silent and waiting now not answering my question. I had so many of them. But why did everyone feel the need to be so quiet!...

'Is she- I tried blinking my own voice sounding off balance and foggy like I was about to fall a sleep or something...

'Is she-

I tried again feeling the remaining blood rush to my head clouding my ear drums, my vision began to blur around the edges, white spots dancing in front of my eyes before her wail meet my ears and then the world turned to a inky black...

 **Hope you guys enjoyedddd this chapter xxxx chap three will b up soon please review and comment xxx**


	3. Chapter 3

The first thing I became aware of was that I was in Eric's bedroom. Lying down in his bed.

The second thing I became aware of was I had briefly forgotten what the hell had just happened it was like someone had taken a chalk board wiper and just wiped my memories clean.

I remembered screaming.

Pushing,

Crying sweating profusely then….

and then nothing. Just a complete blank. Which was baffling.

Deciding I was ready to wake up,

I forced my eyes open before I was ready the world doing a 360 degree turn before I felt nausea claw out of my stomach and up my throat, I clenched my eyes back shut again breathing needless breathes until the nausea subsided and then tried again letting the breaths out slowly.

breathing in through my nose and out through my mouth.

God.

My body ached so much. It ached to the point that it was almost...almost unbearable especially the burning down by my lower waist I winced forcing myself up into a sitting position before relaxing completely against the wood of Eric's king sized bed only to screw my face up in discomfort and then place a pillow in the woods place. Ginger must've changed the sheets because the last time I had checked they had been covered in blood and….and my waters? (I frowned fidgeting the memories were beginning to slip back into my mind…and fast) and now they were clean,

closing my eyes again I put a finger to my temple and began rubbing it restlessly before I heard a voice from the door way.

'Pam?' came the familiar voice of our bar maid Ginger. hesitantly I re-opened my eyes for about the third time focusing on the bright white ball of fluff she held in her hands.

'Oh good your awake- she said with a bright grin prancing over in my direction coming around to my side of the bed until she was stood right beside me I looked up at her biting my lip nervously

'I thought you might want to-

'No- I said sharply- Take it away- I blurted turning my head in the other direction and folding my arms stubbornly

 _take it away_

'thought you might want to meet your son' ginger continued her sentence stubbornly bending down on bended knee.

'my son?' I quiered frowning- Im a vampire we cant have children I don't have any children that thing is not my child take it away!… I shook my head

'Pam you're in shock' ginger stuttered 'probably still have a little baby brain but I assure you. You do have children…well now you do' I swallowed thickly my vision diverting to the bundle where I caught sight of peachy pale colored skin.

'NO I-I can't' I shook my head eyeing her 'I don't want this I dont know how to do that-(I said pointing towards the infant ginger cradled in her arms)

'I'll show you' ginger cut across me taking my arm (without my consent i might add) while still gently holding the little beast I watched her actions intently before feeling the soft fuzz of the towel touch my skin. My being subconsciously trying not to look at the slimy crying tiny being from earlier I now held in my grasp in fear of growing…well i dont know...attached? if that's a word you use in this situation.

'take a look' ginger said a small smile playing on either side of her lips 'his beautiful' she added the smile turning into a full scale beam.

I nodded my head still looking at her and then towards the empty door way before looking down at the bundle in my arms, studying its (his) small face it had pale red flushed skin, a small circular nose, tiny pale pink lips. fine dark brunette hair which was plastered to its small head and it smelt like a combination of fresh ivory and lavender soap...(with a hint of honey), the infant moved a little clumsily against my touch its small hand moving up to brush it's nose as it yawned. Such a human expression which caused me to clear my throat because I found it was almost choked with emotion.

A small half smile nearly painting my lips very unexpectedly before I willed it away.

 **(it was me. they were me. and Eric. and strangly enough the thought made my love for Eric a lot stronger. a lot.)**

 _come on Pam don't get attached your the strong one remember. let go._ my head nagged

but It...He... how had i not known...they had been inside me this hole time, and i hadn't known...what kind of woman was I huh?. what kind of woman didn't know she were pregnant. This just made no sense I had so many unanswered questions. questions nobody would ever be able to answer. how were they being...how had they come to be here?...how had i even gotten pregnant because the last time i had checked fertility was not in the vampire had book and how just how were they so...Perfect so healthy? they had grown inside a dead chicks womb that was hardly the right environment for foetuses was it?...I just didn't know.

wait where was the other one. where was the girl...

'Where's-it came out small and sentimentally tender (and i want to punch myself for it) so i tried again my voice hardening as i continued to stare down at the infant- where's the other one is she okay?' I asked an ounce of concern Lacing through my vocals.

'Oh...um she's upstairs with Alcide and sookie' I nodded my eyebrows furrowing slightly and I gritted my teeth at the mention of HER name-

'I don't want her near my...near the babies their pure enough without her input... I don't want her corrupting them like she did with their father do you understand?' I stressed Ginger was silent for a few seconds her face set in a mask of confusion. but she soon spoke up.

'Pam...I. I thought Alcide was their father' she cautioned volatilely in a half question. I glanced up at her getting a load of her misled face, then let my amusement grace my features.

'Ginger. Honey. when I refer to Sookie corrupting their father I do mean Alcide ( I lied)...He did have a relationship with Sookie before he was with me...you do know that don't you?' Ginger gawked at me silent bothering with eye contact ahead of saying.

'Y-eh...yes of course yeh I knew that'

'Good' I burst out pursuing Ginger's gaze which was on the bundle of youth I held tight against my chest. his little hand was curled in a fist against my collar bone his head laying gently against my breast bone the towel fleeting over the rest of his small body like a duvet. When had I brought him so close to me. had it been in the heat of the moment when i had become so defensive about Sookie being near my-the offspring (Jesus Christ what was i saying) was it a motherly instinct. did this happen to other women when they had babies. My grip instantly loosened and I peared down at the newborn.

'I hope you know that i dont...Im not mothering material and i don't normally do this sort of thing i never expected to do this sort of this...I mean vampires dont normally need to worry about conceiving...and-

'it's okay to love what you cant explain Pam' Ginger said with cleamancy ' and dont even bother trying to excuse it because i know you care for these- I listened absently to her speech as it smeared out when i smelt Eric's strong (seductive) inviting after shave my head snapping up only to catch sight of him in the doors opening. Ginger soon cancelled her yapping following my trail of vision towards the entrance. He stood there big blue hawk eyes eyeing me his flaxen hair gelled back like it normally was on open nights at fangtasia, wearing his normal black club attire. tank top, black jeans; he had lost the leather coat i had teared in blind agony a few hours earlier. much to my distaste.

'guess i should give ya'll a second' Ginger said awkwardly standing up from her siting position on the floor and then holding out her arms expectantly for the infant. I bit the inside of my cheek glancing down at the kid once more.

 _come on Pam let go damn it pull yourself together be strong for your own sake. COME ON!._

then stared at her waiting arms taking in sights of her face before handing over the child.

 _keep that up and he'll think she's his mother_

the maternal part of my mind nagged but i shook the thought from my mind my vision fixing back on my maker and then moving absently to ginger who left the room (as Eric's did his vision focusing mostly on the baby). When she was completely out of the sight Eric shut the door behind him. entering further into the room I growled inwardly folding my arms...

 **hey guys sorry for such a short chapter but I really wanted to update next chapter will be longer I promise please review and check out my other fics happy reading xxx**


	4. Chapter 4

"You're awake," Eric said with an expression of complete neutrality. His emotions were masked so well they were completely unreadable. I continued to eye him, coolly as he edged closer towards me. Then Eric took a seat at the end of his bed.

"How are you feeling?" he asked placing his hand on my exposed foot as my arched eyebrow rose coyly.

"Care much?" I boomed dryly, with false humor, my inner bitch coming to the surface. Something, I had been making an effort to suppress for months now, to keep from rearing its ugly head.

"You are my progeny, of course, I care you… have great value to me-"he admitted his voice sounding almost harsh as I scoffed at him. I took in his position on the mattress moving my dainty foot from under his palm and then, huffed answering his query.

"spending five hours pushing two abnormal beings out of my vagina wasn't fun But, apart from that, I'm all good." I answered snarkily.

Eric nodded looking down at his lap. I twisted my jaw in the silence, picking my nail, a nervous habit from my human years. I couldn't take the still air between us.  
I had to ask him before I burst, I hadn't meant to go there but it had just slipped out before I could even bite my tongue,

"Why have you come here?"

I blurted it out before I could even think to regret it because the silence that fleeted back over us was just...unbearably awkward. I mentally cursed myself for being so forward, but I couldn't scold myself for speaking true words. Why did he care now? Eric certainly hadn't cared before earlier. He was running hot and cold these days and I was failing to understand it.

'Sorry,"I almost groaned regretfully, after a few moments, "sorry that was-i mean shouldn't you be getting back to Sookie's or something?'

"Yes. You're right." Eric reluctantly acknowledged, before fixating his gaze on mine once again. "I have no business being here (well he did but...he didn't know that and I certainly wasn't going to tell him) but we need to talk." His deadpanned voice killed any objection on my lips.  
I moved the smooth silky bed sheets further up my chest, hugging them close to me, for a source of comfort. This conversation is something I would have given anything, not to be around for. To avoid, at all costs, but I knew there was no getting out it; so I decided to play dumb.

"Talk? What's there to talk about?" I scoffed gingerly.

"I think you know why I've come to talk to you, Pamela." Eric said in a matter of fact, sort of way. It was like he had figured everything out and it made me feel...like some kind of guilty criminal.

"Why didn't you tell me?" he quizzed.  
I looked him over before smirking slightly and cocking my head to the side. "Tell you what?"

"Tell you what?"

'About them...why didn't you tell me about them?" Eric repeated, his voice taking on a harsh edge, which made me fidget.

"What do you mean them?" I stared at him as if he had amnesia again shaking my head but he cut over me with nothing but a look.

"Don't try and lie to me, Pam. You know what I'm talking about." His anger was begging to flare hot. "...How? How did this happen... how is this even possible?'

I swallowed hard choosing to submit to his questions. I lifted my hands and my shoulders up in a silent shrug. "..And you think I know?! That's fine, you go right ahead and tell yourself that I do! Think about it, Eric? Of course I don't know! I'm sorry if it's not the answer you were hoping for but I don't know Eric"

My maker nodded momentarily before meeting my gaze again. "And?"

"And? And what!?" I was frankly getting fed up with his interrogation.

"Are they his?" he demanded, the anger that laced in his voice caught me off guard, completely throwing me. He had never had that sort of tome with me. My mouth hung open slightly and I my eyes danced in a silent question.

"Huh?"

"Are. They. His." my maker repeated, slowly as if I were slow in the head and hearing impaired. I gawked at him for a lengthy moment and then sighed needlessly to give off realistic effect. It was gonna be hard enough telling him the truth anyway...I didn't know how he would react to the news. How it would affect my relationship with Alcide? Would he stick by me, when he knew the truth or leave?

"I don't…"

"Pamela, let's not fool ourselves! The dates you're giving Alcide, and the rest of us, they...they just don't add up."  
I felt my lips form a stubborn line and slowly shook my head as Eric continued, "Pamela, babies take nine months to develop…you're telling me…"

"They're Alcide's." I snapped, as the resentment boiled beneath my skin. What right did he have to suddenly care?

I released a exhaling breath,"and probably are premature...Besides they've already been born now! So, its four months too late for an abortion "

I wanted my words to hurt him, he had hurt me. "So I'm sorry... but I didn't plan on...I didn't mean for any of this to happen, okay? I didn't want to hurt you it's just when we were together I...I don't know he was...he was just there and you were just so sick and shit and…"

"So let me get one thing straight...you were fucking that...that mutt while you were with me?" His tone was seething; it cut through me as if he were attempting to glamor me.  
My eyes were wide, with my remaining blood pressure shooting through the roof, while I stared at him in a complete loss for words. I thought about telling him the truth then, I really did despite the one-sided mental battle, about the babies-well demons biological father a secret. Not to mention telling Eric the truth would devastate Alcide, and I just couldn't hurt him like that and this would completely destroy him i had only just got him back. Especially to learn the babies were Eric's, he could forgive me anyone else, but, Eric. I had To lie to him. Lying was my best, no, only option. To Eric, to him, to everyone.

"well, you don't have to make it sound so explicit" I taunt making sure to use exaggerated hand gestures, "but yeah...yeah I was "fucking" Alcide while we were together...I cheated on you, just like you did to me, with Tinkerbell!"

I heard him exhale a ragged breath as climbed to his feet. I pressed my lips into a thin line, knowing what was coming. This would not be good. I held my head down, low, keeping my eyes fixed on the black sheets. That was until I heard his roar of agonizing anguish and my head instinctively snapped up.

He picking up the glass lamp and hurled it, to its destruction, at the wall. Before seizing me, in a bruising grip, by the arms and hauling me painfully up to my knees. I knew he'd been holding back earlier. I fucking knew it. I glued my eyes to him as I took in the look in his eyes as he glared back at me.  
My perception followed him closely; I covered my ears and closed my eyes as he demolished the room. The sound of the shattering vase so loud it echoed throughout the room.  
"Stop it!" I growled hearing the shards of china hit the floor before opening my eyes again. I found him once again standing in front of me, before he once again captured me in his unforgiving iron grasp.  
"Just stop it what did you expect me to do? Be lonely? Watch, while you and that bitch, idiot Sookie stack-house fall in love all over again? I did what I had to do, Eric. I moved on..." My voice broke so I tried again, "I moved onto Alcide and I didn't plan on getting pregnant in the process. I didn't think vampire pregnancy was even possible. If I had known it be possible then I would have gone to any measures to prevent it. Do you think I wanted this? You think I wanted to be a...a do you honestly?'

I watched him questioningly, his rigid expression then taking his silence as a non-answer.

"I thought not." I muttered attempting to shake myself free from his one thousand-year-old vice hold on my limbs...it failed. I winced when I felt my lower abdomen butterfly slightly with nerves but quickly covered up my short-lived fear with a glare of silent protest.

"You know something? You really should have chosen, Sylvie," I growled cruelly, as my emotions once again gained the better of me. "I would have loved to see how she coped being me for the past four years. Because this is what you do isn't it? You fuck, with people and then you fuck them over! You fucked me over so many times. Repeatedly, before I even broke up with you. You are the one that left! You left, for Sweden when I needed you the most!  
So tell me..." I laughed dryly, "what's the plan Eric? Turn Sookie? Fuck her for...forty or so years…stop...and then fuck her again when you're bored or sexually frustrated? Spend another one hundred years with her until the next nice piece of flesh comes along...another Sylvie, perhaps, or another Sookie and then she becomes me...the hasbin!"

He released his hold on me as he flung me back onto the bed with a flare. I landed with a small wince twisting my arm in the process and then focused my attention back on him. His back was to me now. Didn't even know if he was listening to a word I was saying but I didn't care he needed to hear this. he needed to know how I felt he needed to know how his fucking actions during the course of these four years had affected me and my pattern of thinking.

"What? Now you can't even look at me! "I smirked with a raspy dry-throated voice, "Go on Eric turn your back on me, like you always do, your good at that!"

I felt the knot forming in my dry throat as the tears threatened, I fought with everything I had to keep him from seeing me cry. I would not let him win! I needed to get him out of here, and fast, before the tears and the sadness, I kept masked with rage over too me. "You know what? I'm glad you released me because…"

"I'm fucking glad I released you, too!" Eric emitted cruelty slicing through me with an unforeseen blade, leaving abysmal invisible wounds in its wake. Like an idiot I couldn't contain the gasp of pain, because I hadn't seen that fucking coming. It had fucking burnt, I had not expected him to say that to me ever...like at all...No way he had not just said that. Soon enough I could taste the salt of my bloody tears leaving my eyes and I scrubbed at them furiously. He turned back around to face me his eyes gleaming with malicious intent.

"I wish I had let you die, back in France!" I countered with pure viciousness. My bottom lip almost quivering, like a reprimanded child, which I hated. None of my words seemed to be affecting him on the surface, but deep down I know they had done their job. That didn't stop me however from wanting to punch myself for masking any signs of the pain I had inflicted mercifully upon him, which only frustrated me further. To the point where I was in tears, once again, regardless of how hard I tried to keep them at bay.

"I wish..." He stopped as if to carefully insure that his next words would deeply sting me, "I wish I had never saved you the night we met, that I had never taken you back to kill that rapist you called an uncle! I wish it was you that died instead of Nora!"

They really fucking had, in fact they were the worse words he had ever said to me. They were...they would have been, what the humans called triggering, for any self-harming or suicidal person on the planet. They were more painful then when he uttered those three magic words that unbound the ties of our blood. I covered my face at that with my dainty hands, inhaling my sob before it left my lips. Eric had meant every word; I could feel it, deep down in my core. With a few heavy breaths, I composed myself.  
I released a needless sigh before I made my declaration, "Eric Northman, you're a dick!"

His eyes widened and he looked at me almost slightly amused, a devious smirk crawling onto his lips, which infuriated me further.

"I'm a what?"

"I said you're a fucking dick!" I panted in angst, my emotions slipping quickly out of my control, before I could even hope to grasp them.

"You're such a hero, Eric, you know that?" The confusion that crossed his face sent my blood over the edge, "I mean that must have been what your sister, Sookie and hell even Sylvie were thinking...Eric Northman what a man...taking on that, that dirty whore, Pam Swinford, Ravenscroft or whatever the name is she decides to go by...whose had more men than hot dinners, you must be a saint..."  
I let the words sink in before continuing, hoping it would have an everlasting dramatic affect on him, "Looks like the cats finally out, isn't it Eric...you wanna go there about family ...fine we can go there! It's your fucking fault Russell slaughtered your fucking family..."  
I was throwing every bit of shit history I had on him now trying my hardest to hurt him as he had done to me, " If you hadn't of been screwing your fucking servants then maybe just maybe they would have lived!"  
I saw Eric lose his smirk and just stare at me, "Oh you look you're in need of comfort, why don't you find someone less terrible you can relate to like sookie!"

I couldn't help but smile at the expression on his face, but even, I knew I had gone too far...way too far. His eyes had shifted from being filled with a mixture of anger and slight amusement to being completely hot with rage. I practically saw his mind turn to pure unadulterated white rage. I had only witnessed this look on Eric's face and posture one other time, with Russell Edgington and govenour Burwell my vampire sisters Biological Father debacle and it had not ended well. To say he was angry was an understatement...he wanted to obliterate me. Within seconds of the blind rage, consuming Eric, he was on top of me. While his hands encircled tightly around my neck, crushing my un-used airways.

Eric's fingers bit into the thin skin of my neck drawing blood, blood I could now taste in my mouth. I clawed at his hands uselessly suffocating under his millennium of power. His hands were gripped at my throat leaving me with no air, my eyes were wide with fear and small gasps were all I could manage. My brain was so overcome with such of blind panic that it never registers in my head that, being a vampire, I actually didn't need to breathe. I could sense myself drifting away from my consciousness. The terror and consumed my small frame so much that my mind taking me to a peaceful place one where there are no worries in the world. That's when reality hit with a vengeance, realizing, my lungs no longer worked and I was about to pass out from dread, allowing Eric to win I opened my mouth to scream out for Alcide.

Before I could Eric's hold on my throat released and he collapsed on-top of me in defeat. I breathed heavily for unneeded air as the feeling of more tears escape from my eyes, and this time allowed myself to cry silently for about five minutes as a thick silence lingered in the room.

Eric's distraught voice broke through myself pity party, "You were so desperate to find a cure Pamela...you should have let me die...I would have seen Godric again...Nora my…"  
My maker broke off diverting contact, and I swallowed my tears, slowly drawing both hands up so one rested on his shoulder and the other rested on his neck. It was a very intimate position that I was no stranger to when it came to Eric. This was the first time I let my emotional guard down with him in ages, but after what happened just now I wasn't sure if I was going to be able to let down any other barrios with him again. I bit my lip thinking of what to say until the right words came to me.

"It was…because- because you saved me..."I whispered shakily "I saw it only fitting that I returned the favor."  
He looked away, clearly guilt ridden and ashamed of the hurt he had inflicted on me. He started to try to remove himself from on-top of me, but I continued pulling him back down.  
"You were trying to protect me when you left...you always try to protect me and because...because I would have died if you had left me...I would have died...we-were like the same person if you had killed yourself with that disease I would have been one step after...we had to be together Eric...we, we were supposed to be together...I was your family Eric...how could you pick her over me?...again?"

"We're still supposed to be together," He broke in wiping my tears with his calloused thumb "you don't belong with that werewolf you belong with…"

"...I found it, Eric" I muttered, my voice sounding foreign to my own ears. "I found the ring."  
I broke down, turning my head, unable meet his gaze, "You wanna marry her...You love her. Eric don't please don't try to deny that...you love her, probably more than you ever loved me, it's always been her Eric...it'll always be her, because you'll always pick her, over me…over us…over -"  
I couldn't stop myself from crying convulsively in frustration and could feel his ocean blue eyes, that seemed almost indigo in the dark lighting, watching me.

"Over my what?" he nudged me to go on before we were saved by a knock at the door.

"Pam...Is everything okay?" It was Alcide... "Pam?"

Saved by the door I thought in saddened relief. I pushed Eric's massive body off of me as quickly as I could, climbing to my feet. Then clumbisly walking towards the door holding my still aching adomin.

"Alcide," I breathed looking him over before risking a look behind me towards Eric before his vamp speed was shutting the bedroom door as he shoved his way passed the werewolf i hadn't even seen him get up.  
"Where are the babies?" I asked peering behind him after Eric, knowing where they were before he even spoke.

"They're upstairs with Sookie." I felt my skin crawl at her name and bit my lip,

'What's the matter?'...alcide asked throwing me...'you've been crying' he said inspecting the almost dry blgood under my eyes.

'Nothing...I'm alright' I spat hastily

'Pam...' Alcide said '...I know when your lying to me'

'Alcide...I'm fine...' I assured him stepping closer and wrapping my arms around his waist then putting my head against his hard chest. 'I'm okay' I smiled against him sadly...

'I've been thinking' he said quietly...hmm I mussed against him enjoying the intimate contact

'About what' I asked diverting my head and eye contact so I was looking up at him, he was quiet for a long moment and I smiled nudging him on.'go on'

'Im thinking...were in love...we have two babies...' I frowned up at him slightly

'What are you saying' I quiried confused

'I'm saying...let's get married' he announced making my heart freeze over no one had ever said that to me...well Eric had suggested it about two decades ago but had played it off as a joke so nothing had ever came of it.

'W-what?' I asked making sure I had heard correctly

'Marry me...' He repeated. 'Yes?' I stared up at him feeling more guilt consuming me by the minuet and it was killing me, I looked up behind him back up the stairs hoping Eric or Sookie would save me from his question. At that point so many things passed through my mind...Eric the way he had hurt me how he wanted to marry that faerie slut sookie and I acted on impulse.

'Yes' I said smiling up at him

'Yeah?' He asked making I was sure which I wasn't

'Yeah!' I smiled laughed excitably wrapping my arms around his neck and getting up tiptoes then placing a firm kiss on his lips...

'Course I will' I laughed pulling him into a close embrace then losing my smile with guilt... Pure guilt what the hell was I doing anyway my guilt was short lived when there was a crash from upstairs and I looked up towards the ceiling then towards alcide I didn't think my body just reacted and within seconds I was hitting the stairs that led into the bar.

 **well guys that's the update please review and next update will be up as soon as possible oh and please check out my friends paric baby fanfiction unexpected unconditional love review and happy reading xxx**


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